Dear Santa Paws,

I’ve been a good boy this year, apart from the cowpat incident. I’ve been vigilant about chasing squirrels (it’s good exercise for them you know) and it’s months since I last dug a hole in my Dad’s prize lawn.

Last year’s bag of dog biscuits was nice, although the ‘breath control’ labelling didn’t go unnoticed. This year I think it would help you if I give you some ideas.

Firstly, can I have some human stuff that I’m actually not supposed to play with? You know: socks, shoes, a top-of-the-range tennis ball, or a human pillow – because doggie pillows are just not the same.

Then I’d love an automatic belly rubber. My humans are good, but I want so much more – belly rubs are the absolute best.

Finally, a special request: if anyone has put dog fancy dress clothes on their list, please tell them the workshop had sold out. Especially if they included dog antlers.

Yours,

Max the Mutt

PS: If you bring chocolates for my humans, please put them out of my reach because they are poisonous for me.