The Fountain of Youth by Bob Garlick

I reckon I was in my early fifties and, although being predominantly dark haired, I had started to go grey at the temples and more obviously, had developed a grey streak running through the middle of my hair. I kept looking but shied away from those ‘get rid of the grey’ products but was always tempted to try.

One Saturday, Margaret had asked me to go into Boots in Coventry to get her something and I wandered around the store having a look at what was on offer. Boots at this time was at the Corporation Street end of Market Way, now occupied by a restaurant, and they sold Hi Fi’s and all manner of things as well as hair products. The sight of these livened up my interest in products for men. I must have circled the display a number of times, probably looking like a potential shoplifter, before settling on a dark hair product.

Margaret’s reaction when I showed her my purchase was, ‘That’s a dye, take it back.’ But I was unconvinced and later as she watched TV I decided to try it anyway. It said that it would withstand six washes, so I thought, ‘Go on Bob!’

I followed the instructions and looked in the mirror. I was more than a bit surprised at the result. There was this face that didn’t really go with this all over very dark hair! I showed her the result and she too was horrified in an ‘I told you so’ way. A bit much I agreed, so promptly got into the bath to shampoo the hair six times. But it don’t work like that. No effect whatsoever.

All the next day, whenever I relaxed a bit and then passed a mirror, I was jolted back to reality. My son who worked for the same company as me, said, ‘I’m not going in with him looking like that’ and found a large brown paper bag, cut two eyeholes in it and placed it on my head.

The first person I met was the Purchasing Director who said, ‘My word, Bob you look younger every day.’ I had a very embarrassing few weeks explaining the situation.

More embarrassment to come as time went by and the formerly grey bits turned ginger, then having to explain to my hairdresser what I had done.

To my gradual relief the hair did return to its natural state. One thing I can say is that I can now spot a dyed hairdo from twenty paces and have a chuckle. Oh, and now I’m totally grey!

© Bob Garlick 2019